Thursday, August 19, 2004

From scared to angry

A few final thoughts on the whole work/blog incident, and then I’ll move on, I swear. My next post will be all about Seamus or JournalCon or some weird dream I’ve had.

So, I’ve been thinking, and the explanation of how this all came about just doesn’t wash. Supposedly the person who contacted HR felt it was important that I know people in my office were reading my blog. Ok. It is good to know. But if that was all it was, why didn’t you just come tell me yourself? Or if you felt you couldn’t talk to me for some reason, why didn’t you stick an anonymous note in my mailbox? Or contact my boss? Why drag HR into it unless you were trying to get me in trouble?

And the worst part is, even though I’m not officially in trouble – I haven’t broken any rules or done anything wrong – you still succeeded to a certain extent. Now someone corporate has been made aware. I’m sitting here, in my home, writing on my computer, with that itchy feeling between my shoulder blades, knowing that a person who has the power to fire me will probably read this and judge me for it. Now someone will likely pay just a little more attention to which websites I visit, and how much time I spend on them. Some poor IT guy is probably going to have to slog through the logs of my IM conversations (sorry, dude. I’ll try to use the smiley faces less. I’m sure that gets annoying.)

I can’t figure out why you felt the need to “turn me in.” Did I do something to you? Are you jealous of my promotion? Or did you think I was slacking off, blogging at work and deserved to be punished? Perhaps you just don’t like me?

I guess it doesn’t really matter in the end. I still have my job, and I’m going to keep blogging. Hopefully that big brother peering over my shoulder feeling will fade in time.

And by the way? Even with the anxiety, distraction, insomnia, upset stomach and tmj headaches this whole thing brought on? I hit everyone one of my big deadlines this week and then some. That’s the kind of employee I am. So bite me, blog narc.

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